“A successful relationship requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
~ Mignon McLaughlin ~
Janice has been married for 5 years. Life has been busy and she’s feeling disconnected from her partner. She doesn’t know why and is starting to feel resentful. She knows there has to be a better way, but isn’t sure what it is.
Here’s what Janice needs to know:
We are wired in one of five ways to receive love
Do you know your partner’s love languages? Do you know your own love languages?
Did you know that many people think they’re communicating love to their partners, but in fact they are missing the boat entirely? Love isn’t complicated when you understand your partner and what makes them feel loved.
Check this out – The “5 Love Languages”
Dr. Gary Chapman discovered that in relationships there are 5 Love Languages that make us feel respected and loved. Check off which of the following fit your needs. You can have more than one.
❑ 1. QUALITY TIME – talking and taking time to get to know one another, enjoying leisure companionship, having fun together
❑ 2. RECEIVING GIFTS – caring, meaningful acknowledgement in small and big ways that say to your partner “You matter”
❑ 3. WORDS OF AFFECTION – showing appreciation and love with compliments, kind words that lets your partner know “I see you”
❑ 4. PHYSICAL TOUCH – hugs, holding, gentle and passionate, expressing intimate love and sexual connection that enhances trust
❑ 5. ACTS OF SERVICE – getting tasks done, doing things together and for one another, supporting one another in practical ways
Ask yourself this question:
How successful is your partner at understanding and meeting your love needs as described above?
Talk with your partner and coach them
The first thing you can do is to open up about your needs with your partner. Ask about their needs too. Be specific and practical about what you’re looking for by giving examples.
Use the list above to say that you really need more of this kind of love.
Some people will think coaching their partner is ridiculous, after all “shouldn’t they just know what I need instinctively?” Sure, to an extent. But when life gets busy and familiarity sets in, it is normal to coach your partner to better meet your love needs.
Calgary Couples & Marriage Counselling
Love Languages Therapy
If you as a couple aren’t able to get your love needs met, you will not be happy. When this happens you may need to get professional help. This a normal part of a couple’s journey.
Most successful couples have received help from a skilled professional at one point in their life. If you want to talk, we are happy to book a free phone consultation with you to see how we can help.
Call Us or Email. Dr. Michael Haggstrom & Marcus Pankiw, Calgary.
We are skilled at helping couples improve their love connection and resolve the issues preventing them from thriving. Honest, authentic expert counselling services.